I’ve been MIA because I fell in love with Whole Foods. Well that’s only part of the truth, so let me start from the beginning. I went to “visit” my grandmother in Birmingham. By visit I mean, I made my mom go see her mom due to a serious medical condition that may turn out to be not that serious. All in all, I was kind of worried for my grandma and I wanted her to see exactly how much weight I had lost.
My grandmother has called me fat to my face every chance she could get since I was a young child. This was my way of sticking it to her because at this point she couldn’t say anything about me in a negative way. And she didn’t, well that’s if you don’t count that she constantly talked about how I lost my “boooob-ieeeeees” and butt. It was totally worth it the 18 hours I spent in the car round trip just to stick it to her. When she saw me, I thought she was going to have a heart attack. She was speechless and my grandma can always find the words to bring someone down.
But while I was there I re-discovered Whole Foods. We don’t have one where I live and I have to go to Houston (although I’ve never been to Whole Foods there) or Austin (where I have frequently visited the store) to enjoy the special treats they have to offer me. But I had never been to a Whole Foods like this! Which I soon came to learn that the Whole Foods in Austin I was going to just totally sucked and has been totally redesigned now. I walked in there to get some food and walked into an organic, natural and healthy wonderful. Calling me a yuppie yet? I have no problem with that because that is what I felt like in those moments.
I walked on up to the buffet and loaded up on the best kale I’ve ever had, lentils, many types of quinoa and grilled chicken. I was in food heaven. So much that I took my mom back the next morning for breakfast. I couldn’t take part in the eating of the breakfast because they didn’t have anything healthy enough for me to eat. Yep that’s right. The breakfast bar with french toast, biscuits, bacon, grits (and cheese grits), and eggs was nothing I could eat. I did enjoy some roasted veggies: asparagus and red bell peppers. But I enjoyed my mom’s face when she tasted the bacon and quickly proclaimed it was the best bacon she’s ever had. And she talked about those biscuits for two hours. I bought some vegan oatmeal cookies and my mom got some banana bread (that she continued to talk about for 2 days) and we were on our way.
So you think that’s the end of my Whole Foods story? Wrong. I learned they had a store in Baton Rouge and since we had to go through there to get home anyway, it was only right for us to stop again. So yes, we stopped at WF again and I went in and loaded up on lentils and quinoa and grilled chicken again. And my mom got to visit the barbeque bar I had told her about the previous night. We were living it up at Whole Foods. And then I spotted a low fat oatmeal raisin cookie that was to die for. I had to bring some home to my husband…and he loved them.
Now I’m left feeling empty because the nearest Whole Foods is 90 miles away…This is a very sad story and I can’t believe I even wrote this, but I’m only speaking the truth. How sad! But please, don’t make me tell you how much money I spent at Whole Foods!
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